My Creativity

Last night I had a great talk with one of my family members, and the information gathered in the subject we were talking about became useful for the identities project. Some how we got on a topic about me and where I’m going with this passion I have. Then I was asked what is it all for? The same question I was asked in the seminar!

I answer, it’s mainly for me but there becomes a number of reasons, obviously it’s an interest but has progressed to another level, enabling it to be more than just an interest and more of something that lives within me. I believe I am gifted, and it’s not about me wasting the opportunity or not, but I want to see how far I can or will go to achieve my goal. There becomes a number of reasons simply because has I grew up with this passion to be so creative, I found other important reasons for me to obtain this passion.

One of the reasons is within my family (meaning mom, dad, and siblings) no one really has a nice living, no one is doing what they wanted to grow up and do, they are just doing the basics to survive (hustling others might call it). I mean, where I’m coming from wasn’t an easy living, but it wasn’t that bad either, were surviving but not in the right way. Thinking of the hard times I had ever been in and the hard times we still go through always provides me with the energy to continue. So yeah, you would say I am driven by my past, situations, issues and memories, because they all contribute to the cause of this passion that bubbles inside me.

Another one of the reasons is to prove my dad wrong, his playing this quite clever game and I must admit its working very well. His thoughts are me having kids at a young age and will not succeed in my studies. He doesn’t think I can’t do it, because he knows I’m dedicated, but instead he thinks that something stupid will throw me off track, like having kids for instance. I have already proved part of his thoughts wrong, because he didn’t think I would make it to uni, (he thought I would have them that early!). I am the only one close within that has made it this far. But the point of his game is, he doesn’t want to get his hopes up so he says things he knows I will react upon. By being negative his making me want to prove I can do it, for my own good, and from his view, if I fail, inside he will be disappointed but on the outside he would say I told you so.

Although gaining qualifications does take part in it as well, that was mainly to help progress where I really intend to go, I spent so much time exploring different areas that seemed creative to me (now I feel so old at uni!), just to see what I was capable of doing but most of all to see where most of my skills and creativeness lie. Still, my creativeness lies in a lot of different areas but I have to be dedicated to one, and I have made that decision already, but I know if I don’t make it in the area I intend to chose or I lose interest I know I have back up and can count on my other options.